Fuzzy and jagged and smooth! Oh my

photo credit: my sister

Yesterday I went on a Garden-adventure with two friends and at some point while they were capturing the beauty of the gardens with their amateur photography, I took it upon myself to feel nature, so to say. Now I'm a pretty nature-loving, tree-hugging, hiking-junkie myself but I had never done what I did yesterday.

I touched leaves of different plants. With my eyes closed. The variety of textures and edges blew my mind. There were fuzzy leaves and smooth leaves and jagged leaves and silky leaves and furry leaves and aahhh, such beauty!

Sometimes in order to experience the world around us, we must turn off several senses to make another sense several times as acute.

How beautiful would it be to live one day with eyes closed but ears picking up the quietest of noises and hands feeling unique textures.

I hope this gets to you

A few days ago my friends introduced me to the following song and it made me think.

It made me think how for granted we take the opportunity to give someone a message, talk to someone, see someone. And when that opportunity is taken from us by distance (either geographic or distance in the closeness of the hearts of two people) we, for once, feel the void.

But distance is in the way. Conditions are not right. Reception is missing.

In the mean time, enjoy the song.

Delirious Appreciation

A year of college is almost over and there are so many things that have happened to me. I feel, bear with me here, much older. I remember one of my favorite high school teachers talked to me about how he misses the constant stimulation (intellectual, social, etc.) that he felt in college. I can say that I truly appreciate the constant stimulation that has existed for me these past several months. From political activism, to learning how to deal with psychotic individuals, to living a fantastic dorm life, to learning what I do and don't like about "partying," to expanding the diversity within my friend group (Salinas doesn't quite have much diversity...unless you count fruit and vegetables as diverse entities) I have had a fantastic experience.

Life is a box of Godiva Limited Edition Truffles given to you as a gift. You appreciate it, first of all, never know what you'll get (unless you can tell from the wrapper,) and there are chocolates of all different colors and each one is delicious. Some may be rougher in texture than others but nevertheless enjoyable.

I'm not sure how many people actually read my blog (or know about it) but I will say this anyhow. Thank you for being in my life, whoever you are. You've help shaped this delirious blogger and I appreciate it.

Fundamental Attribution Error

According to Wikipedia the following is true:

"In social psychology, the fundamental attribution error (also known as correspondence bias or attribution effect) describes the tendency to over-value dispositional or personality-based explanations for the observed behaviors of others while under-valuing situational explanations for those behaviors."

It's something along the lines of attributing someone's behavior to their personality but rather than, to the external factors that led to that behavior.

Try to minimize it if you can because guess what? External factors affect people's behavior more than you would think. I remember there was a girl in one of my classes who I thought was just straight up, mean. Later I found out she was going through an abortion. I felt horrible for making a judgement about her personality simply based on her behavior and for the first time I promised myself I would no longer consciously do that. Only yesterday did I learn the name of this human tendency. And I thought I would share it with the world especially since I haven't been blogging much lately.

The Problem

Are you offended by my looks?

Does my color make you cringe?

Or is it the necklace, bracelet, nose ring.

Or is it the word that offends you?

The syllables that I uncover and sing.

No reservations, honestly so,

cause you see, I say things as they are,

naked, bare, I let them flow.

Oh I'm terribly sorry,

I apologize that... what? YOU are offended?

I apologize that I am the way I am;

truly, really, so sorry.

So. Sorry.

Not sorry. Not a bit.

Because... what? I am the problem?

Oh no sir, YOU are the issue here

it's become much more than clear.

And it's time for me to clear up my words too,

and trust me, of you I have no fear.

I. Will not. Apologize. For being. As I am.

Not any more, not once more even

in the darkest of nights and loneliest of ages,

I will not let you take away my pages.

Because this notebook cannot afford to lose any more,

because it's becoming much emptier than before.

Perhaps I've been too harsh.

Your mind is the problem and you are the curer,

all you need to do is be a bit truer,

to your inner being.

And trust me, you will come clean.

Reload

My 2nd (ish) attempt at "for fun" poetry/spoken word

Just when you'd think it's all over and done,

a final blow comes.

You can't dodge it so you take it in the chest

with no warning, no message, simply strange.

Thoughts and memories all get stirred up,

you try and try but no new epiphany whirls out.

And you reload. Reload.

But no new results come up.

You do the research, read the relevant literature.

But no. Nothing.

You're left with a cloud of questions

a bunch of "What did I do?" 's

and "What went wrong?" 's

But you lost a friend and nothing really can be done.

But reload.

Some things I like about home

I like:

1. My big room

2. The painting of a heart in the ocean above my bed, done by a dear friend

3. My mom's terms of endearment

4. My sister's silly attitude

5. Looking at the backyard and the verdant hills behind it

6. Sipping tea and reading a book without worrying about classes

7. Driving around with friends to places with memories

8. Catching up with friends

9. Seeing people randomly around town

10. Home-cooked food

Enjoy.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DHEOF_rcND8